Guess what?!

I'm making a real blog... one that I should actually do on a regular basis... and not a blogger. SO loyal followers- follower further to:http://pancakesandpoodles.wordpress.com/
it should be rad man.
I'll still be doing amazing life changing tasks on a regular basis, but this way there isn't as much pressure (I just couldn't handle it with my busy busy life). However, the witty banter will persist. See ya on the other side!

Day 55: Pancake Day

I can't make a pancake, I don't have a kitchen : ( I would really like to, I love pancakes. I make them when I can and when I have time but today I had neither. I do make perfectly round pancakes when given the proper equipment (ie an actual fry pan as opposed to a sauce pan- easier to flip) and that was today's goal. So score one for me? I think so.

Day 54: Count Your Farts

So yeah, four. That's my grand total for the day. Glad you wanted to know. And apparently that is the normal amount for women and releases 20cm3 of carbon into the air. That's all.

oh and FYI apparently I missed a page. WHOOPS! I didn't count sheep to cure insomnia nor did I find out ones first impression of me. sooooooo I'll do those tomorrow yeah? In addition to tomorrows task (pancake day- lack of kitchen posses problem...). Don't go getting all confused when it goes from day 47 and 48 to 55 out of the blue. There is a method to the madness. There always is.

Day 53: Return Your Junk Mail

This would work a lot better if I was at home where I actually get junk mail. Here I just get bills and paychecks and packages full of girl scout cookies from my loving grandma. Soooooo whats a girl to do when she has no junk mail? Riddle me that. I seriously would do this one, but I have no junk mail. Some may consider me lucky but not today my friends, not today. Sighhh so here's what I'm going to do I GUESS- put this one on hold. I PROMISE on my pinkie that I will return the next piece of junk mail I recieve. Sound fair? Good, because you have no choice. I run this show! *insert evil laugh here* but like seriously, I'll do it. PROMISE. and would that face lie to you? I think not.

Day 52 Look Up the Meaning of Life

So I did this one in full despite my recent bought of stomach encompassing illness. And here is what I found, thanks to handy dandy dictionary.com:

LIFE:

1.	the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.

2.	the sum of the distinguishing phenomena of organisms, esp. metabolism, growth, reproduction, and adaptation to environment.

3.	the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual: to risk one's life; a short life and a merry one.

4.	a corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul: eternal life.

5.	the general or universal condition of human existence: Too bad, but life is like that.

6.	any specified period of animate existence: a man in middle life.

7.	the period of existence, activity, or effectiveness of something inanimate, as a machine, lease, or play: The life of the car may be ten years.

8.	a living being: Several lives were lost.

9.	living things collectively: the hope of discovering life on other planets; insect life.

10.	a particular aspect of existence: He enjoys an active physical life.

11.	the course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitute a person's existence: His business has been his entire life.

12.	a biography: a newly published life of Willa Cather.

13.	animation; liveliness; spirit: a speech full of life.

14.	resilience; elasticity.

15.	the force that makes or keeps something alive; the vivifying or quickening principle: The life of the treaty has been an increase of mutual understanding and respect.

16.	a mode or manner of existence, as in the world of affairs or society: So far her business life has not overlapped her social life.

17.	the period or extent of authority, popularity, approval, etc.: the life of the committee; the life of a bestseller.

18.	a prison sentence covering the remaining portion of the offender's animate existence: The judge gave him life.

19.	anything or anyone considered to be as precious as life: She was his life.

20.	a person or thing that enlivens: the life of the party.

21.	effervescence or sparkle, as of wines.

22.	pungency or strong, sharp flavor, as of substances when fresh or in good condition.

23.	nature or any of the forms of nature as the model or subject of a work of art: drawn from life.

24.	Baseball. another opportunity given to a batter to bat because of a misplay by a fielder.

25.	(in English pool) one of a limited number of shots allowed a player: Each pool player has three lives at the beginning of the game

That's 25 definitions for "life". But which one is the right one? And do I have to consider the antonyms, synonyms, idioms and adjective forms as well?! Because there are even more of those!! OH JEEZE THIS IS HARD. I should just watch Monty Python and figure it out from them, this is far too complex for MY brain.... or is the answer simply 42? GAH! So many decisions. Okay, here is what I think the meaning of life is: life has no meaning until you give it one. Its up to you to wake up in the morning and say "good lord I'm glad I'm alive, the sun is far to beautiful to miss." Is it cheesy? Yes. Is it a tad obnoxious? Only if you're not pushy and pretentious and shove it in peoples faces instead of only say it to yourself. Find meaning in the world around you, I try, it's hard. Especially when your throwing up, but then your boyfriend says he's coming over to help you with your mountians of essays and to make you feel better, then suddenly life has some meaning again.

So yeah, that was my cheesy, romantic, heart warming dose of daisies for the day. Hope it didn't make you vomit to hard, I've had enough of that today.

Day 51: Go Through the Day Without Your Sense of Sight

No. I have papers to write and rain to enjoy and I'm not going the day without my sense of sight. Its impractical and stupid. Like seriously. I could go without my sense of smell or I could wear earplugs all day and go without my sense of hearing but not sight. I need my sight its fairly important to me. So yeah. NO.

Day 50: Make People Notice You Today

Dou- dou- dou- dou- DOUBLE POST! Actually, this one is from yesterday, so we actually have a TRIPLE POST. OMFG (to steal from the Gossip Girl campagin). Now, making people notice me is not horrible difficult. Everyone is noticed at one point or another. Usually I'm noticed because I'm spilling something, or tripping over something (which I did on friday and this lady laughed at me and I just smiled and said "Oh yeah I'm gracefull" that just made her laugh harder). Yesturday I was noticed because I was wearing a skirt (IN CANADA FINALLY ITS WARM- ISH) and heels (not high ones) and this guy on the subway smiled at me and said "oooo." My boyfriend didn't really notice, he was standing right next to me. But yeah, I got noticed, and harrassed and no one did anything about it. Woot Woot.

Day 47: Make a Citezens Arrest.

Alright, I've been wandering around for like a week trying to figure our what exactly I'm going to arrest someone for, who it should be and for what reason and honestly I couldn't be bothered. Its a ridiculous thing to expect from someone. I guess I could "arrest" a friend of mine for the pure sake of keeping the integrity of my blog but I figure that went out the window ages ago. Probably when I first stopped posting... after the like second post. So yeah, no citizens arrest for me but I do have some requests:
1. Please stop littering- its bad for the environment and ugly to look at. How hard is it to hold on to your garbage for like ten minutes. Everyone can find/ run into a garbage can in ten minutes. Its a stupid thing to do, it benefits NO ONE. So stop, like seriously.
2. Please stop leaving unneccessary lights on (like the bathroom light)- now I know that in someplaces (like my residence) the bathroom light is outside of the bathroom. Lets all clap for that engineer. But, like seriously, can't you turn it off? Its so simple. Its like turning it on in reverse. Come on now, you can do that! I have faith in you! Its good for the enviornment? You like pandas don't you? (of course you do, who doens't like pandas?) Well then turn off your unneccesssary lights.
3. If you could not murder someone today, that would be great too. But I'm assuming you good people don't do that, but if you were considering it, just don't. Like seriously. Prision doesn't sound fun.

Thats all, I feel I've benefitted society a little bit, even if I didn't make a citizens arrest.

Day 46: Brithday Day

I'm celebrating birthdays today!! Too bad I already am pretty good at celebrating birthdays... I've never forgotten a good friends birthday, I write happy birthday on peoples facebook walls, ect ect. Sooo.... today's kinda bust. Life already fulfilled in that sense. Whopee!

Day 45: Romance Day

Sooo if I was actually following this thing I think this would land on Valentines day. Semi appropriate. Unfortunately it is not Valentines day, it is March... 19th. Yeahhh I'm a little behind, but you knew that. Okay so I'm supposed to come up with a totally new and unique compliment today.... heres what I've come up with:

1. you're body's smoother than peanut butter
2. you're the light in my life and the beat in my heart (I don't think that one even really makes any sense)
3. Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven? (... I think I've heard that one somewhere before...)

Happy Non- Valentines Day!!

Day 44: Defy Superstitions

Okay, I'm not superstitious. I think I step on cracks on a normal day to day basis and as far as I know my mother is fine. I can't whistle so the whole "no whistling inside" thing is moot. I encountered no cats today but I would probably cuddle the poor thing and give it a slightly absurd name like blackberry or moonshine (ooo I actually kinda like that). Last month I accidentally stepped on my blush and broke the mirror inside there.... that may explain my slight bad luck in the form of a million essays due in mere days. So even though I'm not a true believer in today's task I will open an umbrella indoors and quiver in impending doom.

Day 43: Write a Proper Account of You Day

So this morning I woke up several times. Once on my own, at seven fifteen, which always seems to happen when I sleep at my dorm. I wake up at seven fifteen almost exactly. I fell back asleep. Then I woke up when my roommate went and got breakfast, again when she came back to get her stuff and then I got up once she left. I pushed back my green Ikea sheets and put my.... left (?) foot on the ground first, went to the bathroom, washed the toothpaste off my face (put on zits the night before) and got ready for breakfast. I straightened my hair, put on my make-up including my sparkely green eye shadow stick in honor of st. patricks day. I decided what I was going to wear (white thermal long sleeve with black lace tank top on underneath and green plaid tweed skirt) and went to go get breakfast. I had a piece of toast and some whole grain cheerios for breakfast/lunch (it was about eleven thirty by this time). Then I went outside to see how cold it actually was and determined it was far too cold to wear a skirt so I went upstairs, past the security guard (flashed my room key) and changed into my green capri pants. I then spent like two and a half hours on the computer just fooling around. I was trying to arrange my essay with no avail. I checked my facebook like fifteen times and talked to my boyfriend. At about two I changed again into my bright green long sleeve abercrombie shirt, dark jeans and brown sweater to go meet my boyfriend for lunch. On the way down in the elevator I ripped a hole in the bottom of my shirt (its one of my favs, I was fairly devastated). I made my way over to OCAD, crossing many streets illegally. Waited outside for about ten minutes, played brick breakers in the meantime. Eventually the boyfriend came out of the box on stilts. He's still sick and his voice was like that of an 80 year old chain smoker crossed with a twelve year old boy going through puberty(the huskiness combined with the cracking). We walked down to the crepe place on queen street, past many youngins out of school because of march break. There was a semi large crowd in front of Much music. At the crepe place I got a dark chocolate crepe and a cup of some of the most delicious strawberries ever. Nate had a panini. We talked about this essay I'm supposed to be writing/ that is ruining my life. I fed him a strawberry with my fork and I felt like I needed to take a shower from the cutsey. When bill was paid, we ventured outside and looked at what was going on at Much, turns out the Pussycat Dolls are preforming. We didn't stop. Then he dropped me off at my residence, despite my silent protests. Then I went back to my room, watched the latest episode of Gossip Girl, continued to talk to Nate. Then at about five adam came over and we went down to the caf to get dinner. I had french fries and a cookie. Yum Yum. No actually it was totally unsatisfying. After I came back upstairs, finished gossip girl, downloaded the new Many Moore single and got ready for work (had to print off a sudoku). Went to work, got an extra half and hour of pay for wearing green on St. Patties day. Proceed to work for the next three and a half hours. I messed up two of my Sudokus and didn't finish two. They were really hard ones. I made the university 100 dollars on check and thats pretty much it. I talked to like a total of ten people out of 300 calls. Then I came upstairs and tooled around on the computer some more, talked to my boyfriend, ect. Now I'm probably going to watch Gilmore Girls and... talk to my boyfriend some more. Thats my day, pretty accurately recorded.

I suck

So, I'm supossed to walk through grass next. See, currently the grass in toronto is gross. Its all dead and prickly and it would not be a pleasant experience to walk through the fields of death and destruction that surround me currently. So I will do that in spring. When the grass is full and lush and won't kill the bottoms of my feet-sies. Annnnnddd I've fallen way behind on this and I apologize profusely, I will get better I promise my life has just been thing after thing after thing and soon blogging will be added to that list of things. I'll probably start doing two things a day to make up for lost time. Just be patient. I promise that consistant blogging will come, just have a little faith :)

Day 41: Apply for Knighthoood

My life is very busy at the moment thank you very much. Today I wrote to the honorable Tony Blair... GORDON BROWN to request to be knighted or damed I guess. This is what I wrote and I request an enthralled welcome into the ministry of knights or whatever its called.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown:
This is my formal request to be ordained by the British government as a dame. I have many things to warrant such a prestigious and time honored title such as eating record amounts of chocolate, knowing all the words to “Baby Got Back” and being the proud adoptive mother of a polar bear at the San Francisco Zoo. I have also kissed the Blarney stone, and I the bravery required to do so alone cause enough for a title. Now, being an American, I realize that I cannot in fact be recognized as a formal Dame of the British government, but an honorary one will be just fine. I look forward to meeting Paul, Elton, and Judy at the ceremony on her majesties birthday. I hope the cake is chocolate.
Yours truly:
Emma



I'm fairly confident. Aren't you?

Day 40: Play a Practical Joke

I'm really bad at practical jokes. You know what I ended up doing? Sugar in the salt shaker. It was lame and petty and I feel stupid. Yeahhh that's why its taken me like a week to post this, I was trying to be more original and FAILED miserably. I'm just not a practical joke kind of person. Its not a talent that god has given to me. I'll start blogging again now, hopefully I won't get bogged down again.

Day 39: Learn to Speak Sweedish

I would really like to be fluent in something (other than English). I'm really bad at languages. like REALLY bad, barley passed Spanish bad, dropped Italian after one semester bad. Today I'm supposed to learn Swedish- not like the entire language in one day but the basics. Did you know that in Swedish "Hello" is "Halla"? and "I am a tiger. Only Kidding! I used to be a tiger but I'm not anymore." is "Jar ar en tiger. Nej, skojar bara!Jar brukade vara en tiger men inte nu langre." And does it mean that I'm immature that I still kinda smirk when I see that six in Swedish is sex? But yeah, so I know some basic, useful Swedish!! Ya sure, hoota hoota. Det ligger en smurf begravd I mitt smor!!!

Day 38: Go in a Church and Poder God

Okay, so I know that its a Thursday and last time I posted was a Sunday. I'm a bad blogger, for shame, yadda yadda yaddda, I'm sure you're sick of my apologies, I'll just write the blog now. My task for today was to venture into a church, this was not to be done on Monday since I was traveling and on Tuesday I was... lazy(me, lazy, NEVER) and Wednesday I chickened out. See the thing you have to know is that I have been to church , like the service and everything, a total of one time in my entire life. That was about 10 years ago. Its not that I don't like churches or have any qualms against them, I'm just not religious. I kinda feel awkward going into churches unless accompanied by a tour guide. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do, I don't really know how to pray, its just AWKWARD. But I did go into a church on my own, minus the tour guide, and I probably picked the worst church ever to venture into. I picked the church in Sick Kids Hospital (more out of convenience than anything else, its right on my way home). But yeah, soooo not good. I was like one of three people. The thing about this church in particular was that I knew what these people were praying for- their kids lives. Their children were dying, or horribly ill, or were having surgery and they were praying for them to hold on for just one more day. It was heartbreaking. I sat in the back for a minute, looking at the stained glass and I did what I was supposed to do- ponder god. I'm not religious, technically speaking, I don't believe in god. This pondering kindov reaffirmed that belief. How could god do this to these people, to these children. They are possibly the most pure form that human beings come in and he gives them cancer and lupus and defect hearts or livers that need replacing. He doesn't let them play or run or sing or do any of the normal kid things. They sit in a hospital bed, hairless, while the world spins around them. They are helpless. And when this happens, some parents do the only thing they can- pray. They pray to this god who has inflicted this pain in the first place, pleading for him to take the pain away. They are literally on their knees. This is why I don't like churches and I don't believe in God. I can't imagine anyone so cruel.

Day 37: Eat and Run

I didn't. Its that simple. Sorry.

Day 36: Don't Say Anything Today

HAHAHHAHAHA like THAT was going to happen. PASS. I don't take this thing seriously enough but really? You expect me not to talk for an entire day?? Come on, get realistic. I am a woman of words, you would never tell Lorelai Gilmore not to speak for an entire day and since we are slowly becoming the same person, you should not expect success from me either. Without my words, I am nothing. I know Ursula the sea witch says that "it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word and after all dear, what is idle babble for?" But I'm not buying it. Unless the post mean don't pull a Say Anything as in don't stand outside someones window playing "In Your Eyes"- then I should get a gold medal because score one for Emma, I haven't even TOUCHED a boom box today,but somehow I don't think that's what they meant.



On a side note- go see Say Anything, it really is a classic movie that no one seems to have seen (tragic much?) John Cusack at his finest.

Day 35: Give Little Tasks to the People Around You

Instead of instructing my brother to "hold the elevator for me" I instructed other people to "whistle my favorite tune" or "spy on my spouse for me." I cut out the little instruction squares and placed them around town- on cars, parking meters, windows, in books, ect. So now, people will be inspired by my little notes. Hopefully not the "spy on my spouse" one. Or the "be my slave for a day."- that one has so much awkward potential depending on the recipient. But some of them are really sweet; like "tell me a bedtime story." That one I like, its cute and could potentially make someones day. I love bedtime stories- both telling them and hearing them. Instead, I have to read On the Road. Not much of a bedtime story, there are no princesses or dragons or even Baba Yaga. But thus is the life of a college student, sighhhh I wish I was five again.

Day 33: Be on the Lookout for the Paranormal/ Day 34: Contact a Dictator

Hey there! So I obviously didn't get the chance to post again yesterday. You have to PAY to use wireless in airports now, which is LAMESAUCE. I spent about SIX HOURS in various airports yesterday, you think they could have thrown in wireless. As far as the paranormal goes, there was very limited paranormal activity in these airports. I kept hearing my name but that might have been out of boredom or dehydration or maybe the nachos I ate didn't really agree with me. There was NO apparition whether it was ghosts, zombies or hungry zombies, there were NO unexplained footsteps. My cat meowed!! and my dog barked!! oooo call wes craven! do I have a story for him! No, so nothing ghostly happened. So disappointing.

Now for today I was supposed to contact a dictator which I'm not going to do. Why you may ask? BECAUSE DICTATORS KILL PEOPLE THATS WHY. At least the serial killer was all locked up and couldn't get to me, the dictator could hire some guy name vlad (or willie lopez) to kill the living shit out me. PASS. So, to any dictators who read this blog- I don't approve of your killing people. But I fear you, so way to read your Machiavelli. I'm going to go change my name and die my hair purple now.

Day 32 (cont.)

So for the first time ever in my life (gross exaggeration)I didn't dream last night. I mean I probably did, but I don't remember it. No hedgehogs, midgets or planes. The plane one is surprising because I'm on my way to a plane and I have slight flying anxiety so I thought that my subconscious would somehow tap into that. I was mistaken. No Garden State moments for me. I'm a little bit glad about that. So the whole "control my dreams" thing is a bust. Oh well, I don't really do this full out anyway.


Just as a side note- I'm on a bus right now. Its a double- Decker bus with wi-fi that goes to the airport and I only paid 25 bucks for it. YEAH. Good deal, eh (the Canadian is seeping into me). We live in a wonderful age.

Post for today to come later.

Day 32: Control Your Dreams

So tonight I'm going to try and control my dreams by thinking about hedgehogs, midgets and planes. Woot woot! I'll report back tomorrow dear followers. Maybe not tomorrow... I'm traveling tomorrow.... hopefully I'll make it to California at an appropriate time. So I'll write back tomorrow, I hope, god I hope.

Day 31: Nauru Day

Today I'm supposed to acknowledge the island nation of Nauru. Its one of those tiny islands in Indonesia/ off the coast of Australia. The thing one has to know about Nauru is that it probably won't be there for much longer. Due to rising sea levels caused by global warming, Nauru will be engulfed by the ocean sometime in the semi near future. So will Manhattan actually. Damn global warming. Like seriously, all I've talked about for the last week has been global warming (I had to write and essay on the environment), its like being back in Environmental Science. That class made me want to crawl under a log. Acknowledging Nauru just brings back painful memories of world destruction. And I'm in Toronto- no logs to be scene. There are covers though, I'll crawl under the covers and never come out. Happy Valentines Day.

Day 30: Ignore Today

I wish I could ignore today, I wish I could crawl into bed and sleep through today. I wish that today didn't exist and that it could just be tomorrow already. I want to ignore today, it would probably be good to ignore today, but I can't ignore today because I have a paper to coordinate and other obligations to worry about so I can't ignore today. I have to face today, I hate today.

Day 29: Call a Random Someone and Read This Script

So I work at a call center, I spend enough time on the phone with people, also I would have to use my room phone, which is less than idea. I dunno, I'm not into prank calling people, I find it rude and a waste of their time. These kinds of "assignments" maybe are supossed to make me less anal but I like the way I am thank you very much. Seriously, I don't want to talk on the phone to strangers anymore today. I'm done, I'm done with the headsets and the "may I speak to..." I dont' want to call someone for percieved "fun." I hate the telephone, partly because my cell is broken five ways till sunday. I'm not in a good mood, you sit at a computer being yelled at by random people after asking them for money and still try and be cheery. I personally want to punch something. I wish one of the Jonas brothers was here.

Day 28: Choose Your Final Meal on Death Row and Make It

Well if I was on death row, my final meal would be a california pizza kitchen cheese pizza neopolitan style, a chocolate milkshake, lots and lots of chocolaty goodness in the form of cakes, cookies and brownies and some amazing popcorn or eggs or chocolate chip pancakes. Tonight I am having pizza, not the right brand/ kind of pizza, but pizza all the same and I did make chocolate chip pancakes though they didn't turn out too well. They were good, but they were more ameoba shaped than pancaked shaped. I do want a milkshake, I haven't had one of those babies in years. I don't know how I'd pick my last meal, I mean I have like 10 foods listed up there, I would also eat fries, grilled cheese, corn on the cob and various other forms of deliciousness. I'm glad I'm not on death row, choosing how I die would be hard enough (that's only if I'm in Washington, you get to pick between hanging and injection- cheery), but last meal, oy to the vey that would be a mind twister.

Day 27: Don't Say "Yankee Echo Sierra" or "November Oscar" and see how long you last

I didn't last very long. Like I made the effort and I tried really hard but I failed. They are very common words in the English language. If they had said "don't say windmill all day" I probably would have succeeded- luckily I'm not from the Netherlands and it wouldn't be a problem. But that wasn't my task, I failed at my task. You do it, don't use those fateful words, OR any synonyms and see how long YOU last. Yeah, YEAH I thought so.

Day 26: Choose What You'd Prefer to Be Reincarnated As

I have a very specific memory of my grandpa asking me that very question when I was like 12. I said I didn't know, I'd never thought about it- probably a bird. He said that he would want to come back as a sea otter. I rather like that idea- I get to be with my grandpa and I'd be a sea otter. Those guys look like all they do is swim around and be adorable. They play and have like the thickest blubber ever, so I'd always be warm. I'd like to be a sea otter in my next life. I think it'd be a good life. Some may argue that this is actually moving down in the circle of life, but I think that all creatures are equal (I was raised in California, I'm a bit of a hippy) and sea otters are no better than humans. Plus sea otters don't have to deal with taxes or driving or exams, they have to worry about like food, and finding a suitable mate... well and like predators. But really, then I could come back as something else- like a dolphin!! OOOOOo or a bird of somekind- those finches are pretty damn adorable! OR a chipmunk! all I'd do is run and eat and be cute but annoying to campers. Yes, the next life is going to be grand, I can tell. As long as I'm not some kind of bug, knowing my hatred for spiders thats probably what I'll end up as.

Day 25: Things You Wil Never Do Before You Die

Today there is a check list of like 10 million things and you're supposed to come to terms with the things you will never do before you die. I actually took the time to read each and every one of these, checking off the ones that I will not do. I was honest, realistic and totally committed. So HA. I did this one FOR REALSIES! HA! and now I will list all the things I will never do in my lifetime and I'm okay with it: climb everest (I don't really want to, its not good for you. Its true, I saw a video in enviornmental science that told us how it kills brain cells), learn italian (ha! been there done that, didn't go well), become world chess champion, rob a bank (unless I'm Patty Herset-ed, that would be bad, but I don't anticipate robbing a bank), go to heaven (this one was a technicality because I won't do that before I die and I'm not sure that I'll do it after I die either, regardless, I won't go there while I'm still kicking), WAlk to the north pole (is that even possible?), Lean Russian (I'm bad with languages in general), Live off charity (hope not), Contract and STD (not if I have anything to say about it), swallow a coin (I'm no longer two, I've passed that part of my life sucessfully coin free), spend a night in prision, start a revolution, follow this book rigorously (hhahahhahhahah), learn the periodic table by heart (yeah, why woudl I do that?), Collect stamps, work in a coal mine (I think I've got the black lung pop, cough cough), Watch all of Bergman (no idea what that is), Follow Mao's teachings, Bite the dust (metaphorically or literally unappealing), move to Japan, wear a rucksack, inject heroin (NO THANK YOU), faint with love (I'm not that lame, how incredibly arcaic and not in the good way. I'm not that kind of girl), save the world (maybe in a small way), become insensitive to suffering (never), be gay, start a cult (cults scare me), grow a beard (I just keep trying and nothing happens!!), master the yo yo (dangerous weapon), become a fitness instructor, apply for a patent, become a rock star (I wish, especially if Mark Wahlberg is involved), live for a year on a desert island (not by choice), use the term solutionize (is that proper english?), confess to a whore (a priest, yes I might do that, not a whore), eat leaves from tress (only under dire circumstances), graffiti a highway bridge, own an owl (those things frighten me), comtemplate suicide, gamble your shirt, learn to fly (a plane would be cool, but not myself), get a tatoo, learn to live with gnats (ewwwww), invade a small country (with what army?), disinherit your heirs, Adopt a Romanian, seduce the prom queen (we didn't have one), paint someone in tar and feathers, light a fart (insert eye roll), shave off your pubic hair, smoke a cat (WHAT?), win the nobel peace prize, make love in front of a stranger, volunteer for a dangerous mission (I'm no james bond), overdose (unless its on chocolate), give birth to a goatboy (this dream was hard to let go, I would name him gilbert), win the rat race, overthrow a regime, organize and orgy, race at monaco (I would love to go to Monaco, but not race there, just take in the rays), marry someone you've never met (I could marry someone I just met, I believe in love like that. This is of course if it doesn't work out with the boyfriend), discover Atlantis, dream in black and white (I don't know how that would happen), see your face on a banknote (unless its for the country of Emalison), be eaten by cannibals (also, hopefully not), host a game show, win the lottery, sleep with your best friends partner (not in my character), start your own religion, shoot the last buffalo (NEVER, I don't think I could shoot anything besides a can), Burn your bra (why? I like my bras, they're pretty), burn your cup, find a guru, marry a prince or princess ( the good brit is taken, whats the point?), settle in Pittsburgh, run with the wolves, become pope (I'm a woman- they don’t allow that, grumble grumble sexist pigs), inherit the crown jewels, be used as a manga character, grow a tail (wtf?), crash a helicopter into the jungle (I’m not Indiana Jones), take a vow of silence (yeah, that would last long), take a vow of chastity (yeah, that would last long), go live with a hermit (they don’t seem to friendly, they’re hermits for a reason), become a muslim, become a Buddhist, become a Christian (I’m not into religion!), eradicate hepitiis C, kiss your own lips (not possible), shoot the pianist ( see “shoot the last buffalo”), invent a typeface (I’ll leave that to adam and nate), reject society (only certain aspects of society, like plastic surgery), beat bjorn borg at tennis (I suck at tennis, and photoshop), refuse a new technology, meet your great great grandchildren (I hope I’m dead by then), suffer a food gladly, sway a jury, sweep a chimney (only if Vick Van Dyke is involved), fight the power, be the 78^th person on the moon, collect coins (HEY, hasn’t that already been listed… maybe that was stamps), be called on by your president, win best looking baby of the year (missed that ship), smoke a Cuban cigar, think up a new swear word (I’m not that creative), fight a duel (look what happened to Jackson? Adams? HAMILTON. Don’t want to end up like him), jump the gun, suck on 12 lollipops at once (chubby bunny), have your own brand of olive oil (okay with that), become immortal (pass thanks, it would suck), play the lead in swan lake, catch that bird that bird that pooped on you, loop the loop (what that what?), make a pact with the devil (NEVER turns out well- Rosemary’s baby anyone?), witness mating flamingos, feel ugly (I don’t really ever feel ugly, sometimes I feel plain but not like “shield the kids bob!” ugly), walk down the yellow brick road, travel at wharp speed (looks painful), implode (good lord I hope not), swim in lake Titicaca, jump on a real bandwagon, run an arms dealership (I don’t like guns!!), sniff superglue, become a superhero (I’m done commenting, this is really long), memorize and encyclopedia, floss twice a day, go on a rampage, make you bank manager beg, lick and electric eel, broker a ceasefire, conduct and orchestra, jump ship, get drunk on meths (like meth? As in the drug? No thanks), sacrifice a goat, inaugurate a building, sleep with a whore of Babylon (not sure Babylon exists anymore), ride a yak, sup with satan (do what with satan?), bite the hand that feeds you, track down lord lucan, cause an intergalactic rift, ONLY 50 MORE TO GO!!!!, travel back in time, appease a dictator, lose your mojo, face a firing squad, gate crash the white house, burn a banknote, have the midas touch, trigger and avalanche, cure the common cold, own an oil field, save the whale, you probably don’t care anymore and stopped reading ages ago, discover a new continent (I think they’ve all been discovered), precipitate the decline of the west, mate with another species, become possessed, surpass, understand or look like Einstein, predict an eclipse (its not too hard, I’m just lazy), participate in the Olympics, catch a shark, meet your maker, commit arson, talk dirty to a flower (I’m more into humans), spot the invisible man, head a posse, undergo emergency liposuction, do the Rubik’s cube, betray your country, change astrological signs, bring back bambi, join the French foreign legion, achiever perfection ( I don’t want to be perfect), win top prize for your Verruca, channel lava away from a village, grow a third nipple, witness the Big Bang (already happened folks), gerrymander, molt, die of hard work, run amok, discover your ancestor is Napoleon, successfully crash land a jumbo jet, riddle while Rome burns, run out of tears, howl at the full moon, give rise to a cause célèbre, part the red sea, have sex with your clone, know the truth about JFK, wave a red flag at a bull (BAD idea), rule the world.

PHEW, I told you it was like 10 Million, and those are only the ones I’ll never do.

Day 24: Barter Day

I'll give you 10 Disney Princess blank CDs (if you know how much I love these cds and Disney princesses you will realise what a big deal this is), my chapstick (also dearly loved) AND my Grey's Anatomy Calender (Seriously, most prized possesions here) if you give me a magical potion that makes it so I never have a migraine again. If you guarentee that I never have another headache period, I'll give you my entire collection of Gilmore Girls (like SERIOUSLY, that like is my saving grace in hard times). Anyone? Anyone?


Basically: Migraines are the bane of my existance and my mother told me to take it easy today, so no bartering for Emma, just social reclusion and never ending pain.

Day 23: Plastic Fantastic

Today I was... supposed to go to a plastic surgeon to see what they would change about me and how much it would cost. I don't want to subject myself to that kind of horror thanks. So I, once again, pass on the days event. But seriously? do I really want to waste my time hearing about how ugly I am and what they can do to make me look like Barbie? Now don't get me wrong, I love Barbie, but she's a doll, I have no desire to look like a doll, I'm perfectly happy looking like a person. I don't want to hear
about the botox I need to ward off impending wrinkles or the collagen I need to make my lips a little more poutey and I really don't want to hear about how bigger boobs will improve my life. I'm not that self deprecating, I certainly don't have that low of self esteem and I think that if I got breast implants my mother would be highly disappointed in me and my boyfriend would dump me. I would be lonely and ugly and only attract the kind of man I loathe. Furthermore, I'm in university, I have expenses! I don't' need to spend 15,000 dollars to get my legs lypoed! I need to spend 15,000 dollars on my education! ugh, oy to the vey what has this world come to. I'm not going to do this, in fact, I refuse to do this!!! I refuse play into this crap idea that we need to better ourselves and that age is disgraceful. I mean, I don't think that I need work done, that is one smoking babe as far as I'm concerned. Yes, I am mugging the camera and yes I did only get two hours of sleep the night before but I see nothing wrong with that person there. As Christina Aguilera says "I am beautiful." Fuck plastic surgery.

Day 22: 10 Years Time

Today I filled out a formal agreement to meet someone in 10 years time. I've always wanted to make promises like this. Its so "From Here to Eternity" or something like that. I'm going to meet them (them being my current boyfriend, this is in case we break up or fate comes between us) on January first at 8 o'clock PM in the place that we met. We will be wearing fake noses and glasses, just in case we've changed beyond recognition. This has the potential to change my life. Say we do get separated or break up for some stupid reason and we re meet and I'll get to see what my life would have been like. What could have been. If we're still together, it will be a testament to our relationship. We'll stand there and say "ten years, wow" and get the chance to reminisce about tissues, cookies and popcorn, the house, snow and our epic first Halloween. It'll be good. I'm looking forward to this one. Mark the date.

Day 21: Patriotism Day

I'm an American living in Canada, every day is patriotism day- or as I call it "My country isn't that bad day." Seriously, they are SO jealous of us Americans that they just rag on us all the time. "'Marsha Marsha Marsha" they say, like Jan from the Brady Bunch. "Whats so great about Marsha??" We friends, now that we have an awesome president, American isn't looking so bad. For the first time in years, I've been proud to be an American (cause at least I know I'm free - its song lyics, I wasn't implying that Canadian aren't free, although they do still have a queen.....). But anywho, not only am I an American, but I'm also a proud San Franciscan. To celebrate my love for my amazing city and show my patriotism I saw Milk. I kinda cried the entire time and yelled "I KNOW WHERE THAT IS!!!" It was a really good movie, I would recommend seeing it. Also, it was filmed on location. So I celebrated my amazing city and its amazing accomplishments and yearned for home harder than ever. America! FUCK YEAH!

Day 20: Poetry Day

today I wrote a little ditty
Which I hardly ever do
a certian Suess might think it a pitty
that he never wrote this one too
So enjoy dear followers, my brilliant pose
whilst I go paint my toes.

The Wonder Whomp- a Poem By Me

With each clip clop from the Wonder Whomp the children shook in fear
He had big sharp teeth, long flaming hair and only one GIANT ear
No one knew from where he came
or when he'd go away
but the children always ran so fast as he sullied down the lane
The Wonder Whomp- who's name was Hal- was hungry as could be
he hadn't had a child for lunch in two years, maybe three
He used to be respected among the Wonder Whomp clan
but time wore down his game
and each pang of hunger was reminder that he had gotten lame
he had to get a child today- he would hunt all night
to seek out that tasty morsel and gobble it up right
he creeped up on a small green house with toys in the front yard
a sound entered his one good ear of a child laughing hard
a little girl, and a puppy too, were playing on a slide
The Wonder Whomp snuck up behind them before they could dash inside
He carried them off to his dreary lair, the puppy howled in fright
The little girl, however, only murmured something about her tight
She had bright blond hair and deep blue eyes
Rivaling the darkest skies
The Wonder Whomp peered down at his little treat
She was so innocent, too innocent to eat
He ate her anyway, in one foul swoop
and kept the puppy for himself
one day the villiage hunted him down and now his bones make up a shelf

Day 19

I am unable to post today's activity. Its for your own protection.


the eagle flies at night....

over and out

racecar

Day 18: Kill Something

I'm opposed to the death penalty, I'm a vegetarian, in most situations I consider untimely deaths a bad thing. However, in the case of bugs, I really couldn't care less. There are a like a billion of those little guys crawling around. I don't think by killing several common black worker ants the world will fall into disarray. Did you know that there are 200 MILLION bugs to every human? MILLION- WITH AN M. That is a lot of bugs. What if they rose up against the human race? They would take over in a millasecond. It would be no problem. The term "bug", btw, doesn't count spiders and those mother fuckers are the ones that I'm worried about. There are spiders as big as dinner plates in the world. That is the kind of thing that makes me wake up screaming in the middle of the night. BUT, I don't kill spiders. I hate them, but I don't kill them. I grab a cup that I don't care about and some kind of hard surface, scoop up little Charlotte or whomever and place them gently outside. Though I just wikipedied spiders- looking for another famous spider to accompany the Charlotte's Web reference and the pictures of those buggers (hahah, their not bugs, their arachnids! oh I'm so clever) made me scream and jump around the room (at first I found this linkhttp://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Spider which I found rather amusing, but someone has too much time on their hands) . My legs turned to jello. *Shudder* They are SO creepy and crawling with the eyes and the legs and the colors and the hair. UGUGGHGHUGHGUGUG.
But back to the killing of things. I killed some ants, just took them out with one forceful footprint. I was surprised to find ants, seeing as its winter in Toronto and I'm going to assume that they would be infesting someones kitchen right now, searching for warmth and food . However, these ants may have been the reject clan because they were crawling along a wall. There is snow on the ground buddy- get your antenna inside! (I live on the 21st floor of a building, I would be really impressed if ants made it up here). It really wasn't a life changing experience. I mean I felt all powerful and godly, but then I thought of the wife and husband ants, and the little larva crying out for their lost parent.... I can only take animal sympathy so far, I don't think they'll be missed. Hopefully..... Otherwise I might be carried off by a swarm of worker ants in the middle of the night and picked apart by spiders. OH LORD I'm getting NO sleep tonight.

Day 17: Eat Nothing But Asparagus All Day Long To Assertian Just How Noxious Your Pee Can Get

I hate Asparagus, and I was at my boyfriends parents house for the weekend. What a great first impression that would have made. Yeahhhhhh, how would this make me a better person?! I'm so confused by some of these, they don't add to my life, this one would certainly detract from it. I would be throwing up from asparagus and have horrible smelling pee, why would I ever do that to myself?
So this is where I stopped doing the things and not recording them and started not doing them at all.... tomorrow, I will kill something. PROMISE, and I won't half ass it. Bugs of the greater Toronto area- WATCH YOUR BACK, I'm coming for you.

Day 16: Discreetly Give The Finger To People All Day

OOOO!! I did this one, no one noticed. I felt all cool and co- op. I had a secret that no one else was picking up on! It was rad man, totally rad, I was like James Bond or some shit like that.


Yeah, no, it wasn't that exciting. I'm actually really glad no one noticed, I felt like a jerk discreetly giving the finger to the child at the bus depot, and my boyfriend. I really didn't like it. So, lesson learned: only give the finger when you mean it.

Day 15: Be Gay For a Day

I know, I know, Emma, you haven't had a post in like FIVE DAYS, did you fall in a ditch or something?!
NO! I did not fall in a ditch nor get eaten by a rabid Canadian beaver, I've been busy, SCHOOL, LIFE, BOYFRIEND, remember those things? They tend to get in the way of my blogging. And, as is usually true, I've been improving my life, but not recording said improvement. So here I am, recording improvement. Be prepared, the excessive blogging may cause over excitement. Try and contain yourself.
Well, okay, on day 15, I was supossed to pretend I was gay, in california, I become a lesbian, it would be a lot easier there (if you're in on this joke, laugh, if not, I feel sorry for you, ignore comment and continue reading). Well, I basically spent day 15 with my boyfriend in entirty. We kinda pulled a timothy mcvey and didn't go anywhere. I can't very well act gay around him, unless I was a man, which I'm not. Sooo basically, I half ass, once again, and don't really truley act gay for a day. Sorry world, I know I've dissapointed you.

Day 14: Compliment Someone and See Where It Gets You

I compliment people on a regular basis. I like the look that people get on their face when you compliment them on something their wearing or whatever. I like that maybe I've brightened their day a little. I like the look that they, girls especially, get in there eye as they lean over and tell you it was on sale or that its from this amazing website. The best is when they've made it. Sometimes, I'll compliment people on things that I don't really like and some people may call that fake and dishonest, but I don't think it hurts anyone. Its not a white lie that can come bite me in the ass, I'm not from Mean Girls, I don't turn around and say "that is the ugliest f-ing bracelet I've ever seen." Typically, when I compliment a person its because I want them to feel better. I like to give compliments and because I know that glow that comes from receiving them. I don't like using compliments to get something, I think that that's more dishonest than lying about liking their baby blue and watermelon pink hoodie. So today, unlike the book suggests, I complimented someone to get nothing. If I deserve free coffee or whatever, than I would like to recieve it because I deserve it, not because the person feels obligated to give it to me. I complimented a girl in the elevator on her pajama pants. They were genuinly cute and the look on her face was reward enough for me.
Side note: I don't claim to be some pious, perfect person who is totally selfless. I can be very selfish at times. This is just one particular thing that I like to do for other people. I don't serve soup and I don't read to impoverished kids, I brighten ordinary peoples days. That doens't make me mother teresa, and I don't strive to be, but it does make me feel better about the world.

Day 13: Write to a Mass Murderer

I'm fascinated by murderers. I've read Zodiac by Robert Greysmith like twice. I loved the Jack the Ripper Tour in London. I'm just sick like that. Now, don't get me wrong, I could NEVER kill a person (barring self defense and even that I would try and render them unconscious before killing them, at least I like to think i would) but I think that people who can and do are facinating. It just human nature I gather. They are like the inuits in freak shows from the 1930's- people can't fathom living like that and thus are intrigued and drawn to know more. Also, by studying serial killers, by delving into their lives and motives, people can separate themselves from these "monsters" (I do think they are a little monsterous). It is a reassurance that you are normal, that you could never do that. Unfortunatley, many serial killers lived totally normal lives- like the BTK killer. He was a church going man, totally normal, wife and kids but on the side he stalked woman and brutally murdered them. That is slightly disconserting and if taken too seriously can make you extremely paronoid. However, I did not pick to write to the BTK killer, I chose to write to Edmund.... Kempler. He killed and tortured women, including his mother. He killed her, cut off her head and then used the severed head of him mother to preform oral sex on himself. FACINATING (and a little... okay WAY disturbing). But yeah I wrote to him. Now, don't fret, there is NO way of this guy finding out who I am, where I live or what I do. I'm sending him a postcard of all of canada and not signing it. It simply says "how was it? eh?" that is all. No identifying marks (mother you can sleep soundly). The phrase was the idea of Adam and Nate, so that can't even really be tied to me. I hope that Edmund likes it. In reality, I know it will end up, stuck to his wall by spunk and he'll probably fanticize about the girl who sent it. YUCK. I also could be totally wrong about that, he could be a loveley individual and totally normal. Although his actions with his mother's head suggest that he has some serious sexual issues. But, I won't know, will I? As much as I am intrigued by serial killers, I never intend to meet one.

Day 12: What's Your Type?

Okay so I'm not feeling particularly witty today, so I'm sorry if today's posts (yes more than one because I have school work to do and a boyfriend to spend time with so I fall a little behind yet again) lack their normal humor. My task for today was to check off which sterotype I fit into and the verdict is.... CLEVER BRUNETTE by a longshot! Partly because I'm not a stupid blonde nor a slutty redhead. Like niether adjectives describe me. Normally, I don't like sterotypes, except when they're true- like this one. I consider myself clever, I mean people tell me I'm clever, I make people laugh on occasion and everything. So I think that clever brunette works well. Plus blonde doesn't suit me. I tried that- it turned out orange. It was a bad summer. Well, I guess thats what you get when you dye your hair to help get over a boy. Sighhhhh I might go red one day. Maybe next fall, give me a good excuse to be extra slutty. Sure the boyfriend would LOVE that.

Day 11: Introduce Yourself to Somone You Know But Never Speak To

I know I'm posting this a day late, but I did it yesterday. My floor had an event and I met new and exciting people. Like Zeus! I know of Zeus because he is the only asian person I know who has bright bleached blonde hair, but I've never introduced myself. So thats what I did, we didn't talk much, I mostly talked to Adam, which kinda defeated the purpose of the whole gathering since Adam and I already know each other fairly well. BUT I did introduce myself to someone who I know but never speak to and now I can actually speak to Zeus and not feel all awkward...... yeah I suck at this book.... I am half assing it, I should probably change that....

Day 9/ 10: Do Something Before Breakfast/ Meet Jonas Day!

So, you, my followers I'm sure have been pondering, quivering with anticipation to what exactly I decided to do before breakfast this morning. I will tell you: danced. I danced, cameron diaz style around my dorm room in my underwear, to Taylor Swift (my best friend). I also sang along. It was energizing, invigorating and totally tiring. I need breakfast really bad now. All that jumping around, booty shaking and all together getting my groove on has made me hungry. Overall, it was good experience, I'm in a much better mood than I am normally when I trudge down to breakfast. Totally wish I could dance it out every day. Those girls on Grey's Anatomy on totally on to something. Dancing is good for you. I actually think that endorphins are good for you, but either way I feel good, and ready to face the day just as soon as I get some caffeine in my body. I should probably put some pants on before I go down to the caf....
I also was to meet Jonas today. Not a Jonas brother- I would punch him in the face, but Jonas a kid who they recruited off the street to follow the book. He ended up in jail and without girlfriend, I know some may accuse me of half assing this little experiment but that is why people! Jonas sounds like a sucker to me. I don't know if I want to meet him in person. Their entry about him was sad enough. The book does say "change your life" it doesn't imply to whether this will be a good or bad change... guess we'll find out.
over and out followers.

Whoops!

So today I was suppossed to do something before breakfast.... I didn't read the entry until today WAY after breakfast so to make it up I'll do something before breakfast tomorrow AND tomorrow's task. So there you go... maybe I should find out what I'm going to have to do a day a head of time.

Day 8: Addiction Free Day

I don't have that many addictions: chocolate and caffeine really. I'm not even one of those people addicted to the internet. Seriously, I'm not, I've gone days without the internet. I am addicted to a little show called Gilmore Girls, which I'm not going to watch today I guess. Some may argue that this will be difficult, but really it won't. Going without caffeine this morning really sucked. I don't function well early the in morning when I haven't gotten enough sleep. I was practically passing out in my nine AM class, which is unfortunate because I like that class and was not fully awake to enjoy it. Chocolate is an issue, kinda. I don't really go a day without some kind of chocolate product in my body. So far doing okay, only minor twitching and other withdrawal symptoms. I'm drinking a lot of water; the entry did say to treat your body as a temple and I hear that drinking water is really good for you. People try and be all ironic and say that its the elixir of life. Somehow I don't think that that's what they had in mind when that legend came about. My addition to texting has been taken care of, as has my need to talk to my parents. My phone has decided to also be a temple today and preform NO TASKS. I got to talk to my mom for like two minutes, frantically explaining the situation and then it hung up on me. This is a problem. I have to go fix it, not because I'm an addict, but because as some point my boyfriend is going to need me to let him into the building and I have no idea how he's going to contact me to do so. My life is quite the rollercoaster, this would be a far more significant post if I was actually addicted to something, like crack. Maybe I should take up crack- I'm sure I'd feel better about the whole phone situation.

Day 7: Masturbate to Given Fanatsy

.... yeahhhhh noooooo. I can not see how this is going to change my life. I also currently have certain... feminine issues that get in the way of this task(cause you totally needed to know that). ANYWHO, I do appreciate that the womans fanatasy is like a page long, and the main characters name is Emma- oddly fitting. Though I didn't find it sexy, considering Emma is pretty much raped by a stranger in a cabin in the middle of the woods. So many things wrong with that senario. It wasn't real rape, I mean she doesn't protest or anything, but he is definetley like "shhhh" and he slides one finger, blah blah blah. The mans fanatasy : "Two Women. Doing It. Together." Thats it. Ohh how different men and women are, tragically different.

Day 6: Write the Opening Statement of Your Debut Novel

I read a lot, and I write a lot. Only one person has read anything I've written creatively. He's not allowed to talk to me about it; no feedback, no comments, no criticism. I'm not ready to face the reality that my work may in fact blow hard like divine brown on hugh grant. I let him read it, that's enough for now. Today's task includes writing the opening statement of my debut novel. The great American novel written in Canada eh? Well, I ponder, what kind of novel should I write. Adventure? Science Fiction? Horror? Dectective? Its unimportant. I'm the kind of girl who starts with one sentence and goes from there, building each statement off the one before it. I don't really plan out my writing, maybe I should.

"There is nothing like snow to make a moment magical."

So, there you go. On shelves November 2020. I have a deep love of snow so I think it seems appropriate to pay homage to this wonderful act of weather. So many possibilites, so many roads to take. I'm going to go watch the snow fall now.

Day 5: Out of Order

So I totally suck at this every day post a blog thing. This is going to be very inconsistent and take more than a year, I'm telling you that right now. You can continue to read my witty banter or you can pass because I'm not totally on the ball. I have a life, get over it.
today I was to post an out of order sign to a public object and watch the impending mayhem. I posted my out of order sign to a recycling bin to symbolize mans inability to save this planet. Our connection with mother nature is "out of order" and this is something that needs to be addressed immediately, because when we hurt our earth, we hurt ourselves. No man from roto rooter or tech assistant guy with a backwards baseball cap can fix this for us, only we, the human race as a whole, can remedy this problem. Time is running out, if left unattended, this crisis will never get repaired.




seriously? I was lazy and needed somewhere to post the sign, I'm not very clever with stuff like that. As far as impending mayhem goes, I watched for a couple of minutes until one of my wonderful floormates, on the phone, accidently dropped my political statement on the ground when throwing away their assorted collection of starbucks cups, term papers, and water bottles. Hey, at least they were recycling right?

Day 4: World Color in Day

Today I was given a map and instructed to color code the countries according to where I want to go. There were four categories: been there done that (green), intend to go there this year (blue), intend to go there sometime before I die (yellow) and happy to never set foot there in my whole life (red). My map was covered in yellow and was completely void of blue. That blue-ish, green-ish color is suppossed to be green. (I didn't bring colored penciles or crayons to college, silly me. Thus, I had to use a pen, which leaked all over my hands and got on my face because I haven't quite outgrown that chewing on the end of the pen situation.) Seriously, I have no exciting travel plans for the next year. I'm going to be traveling back and forth between Toronto and California four times a year. Hopefully I'll go to Montreal or New York city inbetween my coast hopping, but other than that, I'm going no where. Which I find rather sad. I should go somewhere every year. Unfortunately, that is expensive and I am a starving college student. If I could, I would hop on a plane to Italy or Greece, or Dubai today, just grab the boyfriend or best friend and go. Book a red eye, go back to Dublin and actually see the city. I am already in the horrible predicament of wanting to be two places at all times. When I'm in California I want to be in Toronto, when in Toronto I want to be in California. I can never win. This is a recent development and makes me want to jump off a bridge a little bit. To add to this sad situation, I also wish I was various places around the world at all times. I have big travel plans for the future. I want to see the running of the bulls in Spain, I want to roll cheese in Gloucestershire, I want to buy cocaine in Colombia (not really, but I do want to go to Colombia) and see Machu Picu in Peru. On top of all the places I haven't been yet, I also want to return to the places that I have been. I yearn for the hills of Ireland or the pubs of England every day, no matter where I am. So, I plan, and plan and plan. One day, my plans will become reality and you'll see me standing besides the pyramids, a huge smile on my face.
The red category I found unsettling, there are places that I don't care about going to. I have no ripping desire to see China or Chad, I'm ambivalent. That may come off as racist or some other sign that I'm a horrible person who is shallow minded and doesn't want to expand her horizons. Mind you I am going to school in Canada from California to broaden my world view, so take that. Anyhow, there are countries that I know little to nothing about and thus have no intrest in going there. Algeria, which is primarly Sahara desert- don't want to go ther. I'm sure that its a lovely place and when the sun hits the sand dunes just right it can bring tears to to your eyes, but I think I can live without it. There really isn't anywhere that I never ever under any circumstances want to go. I'd even be down for seeing the south pole. I dunno, they should make orange equal "just don't give a fuck."Because really, I don't care whether I see Mongolia. I'd rather be in Ireland.

Day 3: Throw Away Something You Like

So I have to throw away something I like.... I don't know what I'm going to throw away. I like the redvines sitting next to me, but I don't think that I'm going to grow any by throwing away a pack of semi stale redvines. Everything that I have here in toronto is so important to me. Most of it ties me back to home. How could I get rid of the little things that tie me to the place I love above all others? I know this is suppossed to be good for you. I know it is, but I've never been good a throwing things away. I cling to objects and memories with jedi force strength. Maybe its especially good for me. Its not a materialism thing, its a memories thing. Objects tie me back to important times in my life. At home, I would throw away my corsage from junior prom, it'd be therapudic. I like it, and it is important to me but I think its time to let go of those memories and that time in my life. But while I am in toronto, I'm going to throw away those red vines and think about that time, and what happened and what it means to me. I'll pretend. I'm very good at that. Goodbye redvines, I wanted to eat you, but I'm just going to have to let you go.

So I suck at this new blog thing

Soooooo I've been stuck in travel hell for the past two days trying to get back to school. I didn't have time to blog, I didn't really have time to do much besides cry and yell and jump from plane to taxi to bus. So I'll be starting up with the life changing tomorrow. Sorry all who actually read this thing.

Day 2: The Love Of Your Life

So today, the second day of my epic journey to awesomeness, I was supossed to look at everyone I saw and ponder their potential as the love of my life and act accordingly. I spent most of today with my Aunt. She is not the love of my life. The homeless person, definitely not the love of my life. Guy who crossed the street past me with the fu manchu mustache, could have been the love of my life. Our children would be really really ugly though and I think that the woman holding his hand would have a problem with it. Really, who needs a soulmate? Like it's not necessary, I won't be stoned or shunned if I never pick a fella. I will be lonely and dissapointed. "Were all those Disney movies wrong?" I would ponder. Hopefully, I'll find the love of my life, maybe I already have, otherwise, I'll buy some cats. Overall, I'm just thinking that Orlando Bloom will just have to continue to be the love of my life. In time Orlando, in time...

Day 1: Warm- Up

Well, first off, happy new year to all. This is going to be an important year, a year in which I change my life. Now, yesturday I started this whole process, I just didn't blog it (does not bode well to the consistency of these posts). I do have an excuse, I was socializing and had a horrible cold. Two things that should not go together. I only turned on my computer (little "stella" here) to watch Dawson's Creek and wallow in the misery of my runny nose and acky throat. But I did Warm Up. I did more than warm up, I played football. Now I know that when you have such a cold, football is not a logical thing to do but its tradition. I only play football once a year. These were their suggestions for "Warm- Up"s: do one press-up (I'm incapable, sad I know, I'm sorry to mr. perry my 7th grade PE teacher), preform a strip tease (I have a cold- there is nothing sexy about a cold), triple tie your shoelaces (I wore velcoros yesturday), increase your typing speed to three words a minutes (I already do that- YAY!), jaywalk in a pedestrian zone (do that every day), set all your clocks to exactly the same time (done!), whisper a white lie when no ones listening, fatasize about your partner (he's 2000 miles away, that happens often), use a difference thickness comb (did that!), say yo instead of hello (luke I hope you're reading!!), and some other stuff that one does in every day life normally. I did not give my genetalia pet names though, I'm not too into that. So I warmed up! Yay! Happy new year to all and I hope that the dayquil sets in quick.