Day 38: Go in a Church and Poder God

Okay, so I know that its a Thursday and last time I posted was a Sunday. I'm a bad blogger, for shame, yadda yadda yaddda, I'm sure you're sick of my apologies, I'll just write the blog now. My task for today was to venture into a church, this was not to be done on Monday since I was traveling and on Tuesday I was... lazy(me, lazy, NEVER) and Wednesday I chickened out. See the thing you have to know is that I have been to church , like the service and everything, a total of one time in my entire life. That was about 10 years ago. Its not that I don't like churches or have any qualms against them, I'm just not religious. I kinda feel awkward going into churches unless accompanied by a tour guide. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do, I don't really know how to pray, its just AWKWARD. But I did go into a church on my own, minus the tour guide, and I probably picked the worst church ever to venture into. I picked the church in Sick Kids Hospital (more out of convenience than anything else, its right on my way home). But yeah, soooo not good. I was like one of three people. The thing about this church in particular was that I knew what these people were praying for- their kids lives. Their children were dying, or horribly ill, or were having surgery and they were praying for them to hold on for just one more day. It was heartbreaking. I sat in the back for a minute, looking at the stained glass and I did what I was supposed to do- ponder god. I'm not religious, technically speaking, I don't believe in god. This pondering kindov reaffirmed that belief. How could god do this to these people, to these children. They are possibly the most pure form that human beings come in and he gives them cancer and lupus and defect hearts or livers that need replacing. He doesn't let them play or run or sing or do any of the normal kid things. They sit in a hospital bed, hairless, while the world spins around them. They are helpless. And when this happens, some parents do the only thing they can- pray. They pray to this god who has inflicted this pain in the first place, pleading for him to take the pain away. They are literally on their knees. This is why I don't like churches and I don't believe in God. I can't imagine anyone so cruel.