Day 21: Patriotism Day

I'm an American living in Canada, every day is patriotism day- or as I call it "My country isn't that bad day." Seriously, they are SO jealous of us Americans that they just rag on us all the time. "'Marsha Marsha Marsha" they say, like Jan from the Brady Bunch. "Whats so great about Marsha??" We friends, now that we have an awesome president, American isn't looking so bad. For the first time in years, I've been proud to be an American (cause at least I know I'm free - its song lyics, I wasn't implying that Canadian aren't free, although they do still have a queen.....). But anywho, not only am I an American, but I'm also a proud San Franciscan. To celebrate my love for my amazing city and show my patriotism I saw Milk. I kinda cried the entire time and yelled "I KNOW WHERE THAT IS!!!" It was a really good movie, I would recommend seeing it. Also, it was filmed on location. So I celebrated my amazing city and its amazing accomplishments and yearned for home harder than ever. America! FUCK YEAH!

Day 20: Poetry Day

today I wrote a little ditty
Which I hardly ever do
a certian Suess might think it a pitty
that he never wrote this one too
So enjoy dear followers, my brilliant pose
whilst I go paint my toes.

The Wonder Whomp- a Poem By Me

With each clip clop from the Wonder Whomp the children shook in fear
He had big sharp teeth, long flaming hair and only one GIANT ear
No one knew from where he came
or when he'd go away
but the children always ran so fast as he sullied down the lane
The Wonder Whomp- who's name was Hal- was hungry as could be
he hadn't had a child for lunch in two years, maybe three
He used to be respected among the Wonder Whomp clan
but time wore down his game
and each pang of hunger was reminder that he had gotten lame
he had to get a child today- he would hunt all night
to seek out that tasty morsel and gobble it up right
he creeped up on a small green house with toys in the front yard
a sound entered his one good ear of a child laughing hard
a little girl, and a puppy too, were playing on a slide
The Wonder Whomp snuck up behind them before they could dash inside
He carried them off to his dreary lair, the puppy howled in fright
The little girl, however, only murmured something about her tight
She had bright blond hair and deep blue eyes
Rivaling the darkest skies
The Wonder Whomp peered down at his little treat
She was so innocent, too innocent to eat
He ate her anyway, in one foul swoop
and kept the puppy for himself
one day the villiage hunted him down and now his bones make up a shelf

Day 19

I am unable to post today's activity. Its for your own protection.


the eagle flies at night....

over and out

racecar

Day 18: Kill Something

I'm opposed to the death penalty, I'm a vegetarian, in most situations I consider untimely deaths a bad thing. However, in the case of bugs, I really couldn't care less. There are a like a billion of those little guys crawling around. I don't think by killing several common black worker ants the world will fall into disarray. Did you know that there are 200 MILLION bugs to every human? MILLION- WITH AN M. That is a lot of bugs. What if they rose up against the human race? They would take over in a millasecond. It would be no problem. The term "bug", btw, doesn't count spiders and those mother fuckers are the ones that I'm worried about. There are spiders as big as dinner plates in the world. That is the kind of thing that makes me wake up screaming in the middle of the night. BUT, I don't kill spiders. I hate them, but I don't kill them. I grab a cup that I don't care about and some kind of hard surface, scoop up little Charlotte or whomever and place them gently outside. Though I just wikipedied spiders- looking for another famous spider to accompany the Charlotte's Web reference and the pictures of those buggers (hahah, their not bugs, their arachnids! oh I'm so clever) made me scream and jump around the room (at first I found this linkhttp://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Spider which I found rather amusing, but someone has too much time on their hands) . My legs turned to jello. *Shudder* They are SO creepy and crawling with the eyes and the legs and the colors and the hair. UGUGGHGHUGHGUGUG.
But back to the killing of things. I killed some ants, just took them out with one forceful footprint. I was surprised to find ants, seeing as its winter in Toronto and I'm going to assume that they would be infesting someones kitchen right now, searching for warmth and food . However, these ants may have been the reject clan because they were crawling along a wall. There is snow on the ground buddy- get your antenna inside! (I live on the 21st floor of a building, I would be really impressed if ants made it up here). It really wasn't a life changing experience. I mean I felt all powerful and godly, but then I thought of the wife and husband ants, and the little larva crying out for their lost parent.... I can only take animal sympathy so far, I don't think they'll be missed. Hopefully..... Otherwise I might be carried off by a swarm of worker ants in the middle of the night and picked apart by spiders. OH LORD I'm getting NO sleep tonight.

Day 17: Eat Nothing But Asparagus All Day Long To Assertian Just How Noxious Your Pee Can Get

I hate Asparagus, and I was at my boyfriends parents house for the weekend. What a great first impression that would have made. Yeahhhhhh, how would this make me a better person?! I'm so confused by some of these, they don't add to my life, this one would certainly detract from it. I would be throwing up from asparagus and have horrible smelling pee, why would I ever do that to myself?
So this is where I stopped doing the things and not recording them and started not doing them at all.... tomorrow, I will kill something. PROMISE, and I won't half ass it. Bugs of the greater Toronto area- WATCH YOUR BACK, I'm coming for you.

Day 16: Discreetly Give The Finger To People All Day

OOOO!! I did this one, no one noticed. I felt all cool and co- op. I had a secret that no one else was picking up on! It was rad man, totally rad, I was like James Bond or some shit like that.


Yeah, no, it wasn't that exciting. I'm actually really glad no one noticed, I felt like a jerk discreetly giving the finger to the child at the bus depot, and my boyfriend. I really didn't like it. So, lesson learned: only give the finger when you mean it.

Day 15: Be Gay For a Day

I know, I know, Emma, you haven't had a post in like FIVE DAYS, did you fall in a ditch or something?!
NO! I did not fall in a ditch nor get eaten by a rabid Canadian beaver, I've been busy, SCHOOL, LIFE, BOYFRIEND, remember those things? They tend to get in the way of my blogging. And, as is usually true, I've been improving my life, but not recording said improvement. So here I am, recording improvement. Be prepared, the excessive blogging may cause over excitement. Try and contain yourself.
Well, okay, on day 15, I was supossed to pretend I was gay, in california, I become a lesbian, it would be a lot easier there (if you're in on this joke, laugh, if not, I feel sorry for you, ignore comment and continue reading). Well, I basically spent day 15 with my boyfriend in entirty. We kinda pulled a timothy mcvey and didn't go anywhere. I can't very well act gay around him, unless I was a man, which I'm not. Sooo basically, I half ass, once again, and don't really truley act gay for a day. Sorry world, I know I've dissapointed you.

Day 14: Compliment Someone and See Where It Gets You

I compliment people on a regular basis. I like the look that people get on their face when you compliment them on something their wearing or whatever. I like that maybe I've brightened their day a little. I like the look that they, girls especially, get in there eye as they lean over and tell you it was on sale or that its from this amazing website. The best is when they've made it. Sometimes, I'll compliment people on things that I don't really like and some people may call that fake and dishonest, but I don't think it hurts anyone. Its not a white lie that can come bite me in the ass, I'm not from Mean Girls, I don't turn around and say "that is the ugliest f-ing bracelet I've ever seen." Typically, when I compliment a person its because I want them to feel better. I like to give compliments and because I know that glow that comes from receiving them. I don't like using compliments to get something, I think that that's more dishonest than lying about liking their baby blue and watermelon pink hoodie. So today, unlike the book suggests, I complimented someone to get nothing. If I deserve free coffee or whatever, than I would like to recieve it because I deserve it, not because the person feels obligated to give it to me. I complimented a girl in the elevator on her pajama pants. They were genuinly cute and the look on her face was reward enough for me.
Side note: I don't claim to be some pious, perfect person who is totally selfless. I can be very selfish at times. This is just one particular thing that I like to do for other people. I don't serve soup and I don't read to impoverished kids, I brighten ordinary peoples days. That doens't make me mother teresa, and I don't strive to be, but it does make me feel better about the world.

Day 13: Write to a Mass Murderer

I'm fascinated by murderers. I've read Zodiac by Robert Greysmith like twice. I loved the Jack the Ripper Tour in London. I'm just sick like that. Now, don't get me wrong, I could NEVER kill a person (barring self defense and even that I would try and render them unconscious before killing them, at least I like to think i would) but I think that people who can and do are facinating. It just human nature I gather. They are like the inuits in freak shows from the 1930's- people can't fathom living like that and thus are intrigued and drawn to know more. Also, by studying serial killers, by delving into their lives and motives, people can separate themselves from these "monsters" (I do think they are a little monsterous). It is a reassurance that you are normal, that you could never do that. Unfortunatley, many serial killers lived totally normal lives- like the BTK killer. He was a church going man, totally normal, wife and kids but on the side he stalked woman and brutally murdered them. That is slightly disconserting and if taken too seriously can make you extremely paronoid. However, I did not pick to write to the BTK killer, I chose to write to Edmund.... Kempler. He killed and tortured women, including his mother. He killed her, cut off her head and then used the severed head of him mother to preform oral sex on himself. FACINATING (and a little... okay WAY disturbing). But yeah I wrote to him. Now, don't fret, there is NO way of this guy finding out who I am, where I live or what I do. I'm sending him a postcard of all of canada and not signing it. It simply says "how was it? eh?" that is all. No identifying marks (mother you can sleep soundly). The phrase was the idea of Adam and Nate, so that can't even really be tied to me. I hope that Edmund likes it. In reality, I know it will end up, stuck to his wall by spunk and he'll probably fanticize about the girl who sent it. YUCK. I also could be totally wrong about that, he could be a loveley individual and totally normal. Although his actions with his mother's head suggest that he has some serious sexual issues. But, I won't know, will I? As much as I am intrigued by serial killers, I never intend to meet one.

Day 12: What's Your Type?

Okay so I'm not feeling particularly witty today, so I'm sorry if today's posts (yes more than one because I have school work to do and a boyfriend to spend time with so I fall a little behind yet again) lack their normal humor. My task for today was to check off which sterotype I fit into and the verdict is.... CLEVER BRUNETTE by a longshot! Partly because I'm not a stupid blonde nor a slutty redhead. Like niether adjectives describe me. Normally, I don't like sterotypes, except when they're true- like this one. I consider myself clever, I mean people tell me I'm clever, I make people laugh on occasion and everything. So I think that clever brunette works well. Plus blonde doesn't suit me. I tried that- it turned out orange. It was a bad summer. Well, I guess thats what you get when you dye your hair to help get over a boy. Sighhhhh I might go red one day. Maybe next fall, give me a good excuse to be extra slutty. Sure the boyfriend would LOVE that.

Day 11: Introduce Yourself to Somone You Know But Never Speak To

I know I'm posting this a day late, but I did it yesterday. My floor had an event and I met new and exciting people. Like Zeus! I know of Zeus because he is the only asian person I know who has bright bleached blonde hair, but I've never introduced myself. So thats what I did, we didn't talk much, I mostly talked to Adam, which kinda defeated the purpose of the whole gathering since Adam and I already know each other fairly well. BUT I did introduce myself to someone who I know but never speak to and now I can actually speak to Zeus and not feel all awkward...... yeah I suck at this book.... I am half assing it, I should probably change that....

Day 9/ 10: Do Something Before Breakfast/ Meet Jonas Day!

So, you, my followers I'm sure have been pondering, quivering with anticipation to what exactly I decided to do before breakfast this morning. I will tell you: danced. I danced, cameron diaz style around my dorm room in my underwear, to Taylor Swift (my best friend). I also sang along. It was energizing, invigorating and totally tiring. I need breakfast really bad now. All that jumping around, booty shaking and all together getting my groove on has made me hungry. Overall, it was good experience, I'm in a much better mood than I am normally when I trudge down to breakfast. Totally wish I could dance it out every day. Those girls on Grey's Anatomy on totally on to something. Dancing is good for you. I actually think that endorphins are good for you, but either way I feel good, and ready to face the day just as soon as I get some caffeine in my body. I should probably put some pants on before I go down to the caf....
I also was to meet Jonas today. Not a Jonas brother- I would punch him in the face, but Jonas a kid who they recruited off the street to follow the book. He ended up in jail and without girlfriend, I know some may accuse me of half assing this little experiment but that is why people! Jonas sounds like a sucker to me. I don't know if I want to meet him in person. Their entry about him was sad enough. The book does say "change your life" it doesn't imply to whether this will be a good or bad change... guess we'll find out.
over and out followers.

Whoops!

So today I was suppossed to do something before breakfast.... I didn't read the entry until today WAY after breakfast so to make it up I'll do something before breakfast tomorrow AND tomorrow's task. So there you go... maybe I should find out what I'm going to have to do a day a head of time.

Day 8: Addiction Free Day

I don't have that many addictions: chocolate and caffeine really. I'm not even one of those people addicted to the internet. Seriously, I'm not, I've gone days without the internet. I am addicted to a little show called Gilmore Girls, which I'm not going to watch today I guess. Some may argue that this will be difficult, but really it won't. Going without caffeine this morning really sucked. I don't function well early the in morning when I haven't gotten enough sleep. I was practically passing out in my nine AM class, which is unfortunate because I like that class and was not fully awake to enjoy it. Chocolate is an issue, kinda. I don't really go a day without some kind of chocolate product in my body. So far doing okay, only minor twitching and other withdrawal symptoms. I'm drinking a lot of water; the entry did say to treat your body as a temple and I hear that drinking water is really good for you. People try and be all ironic and say that its the elixir of life. Somehow I don't think that that's what they had in mind when that legend came about. My addition to texting has been taken care of, as has my need to talk to my parents. My phone has decided to also be a temple today and preform NO TASKS. I got to talk to my mom for like two minutes, frantically explaining the situation and then it hung up on me. This is a problem. I have to go fix it, not because I'm an addict, but because as some point my boyfriend is going to need me to let him into the building and I have no idea how he's going to contact me to do so. My life is quite the rollercoaster, this would be a far more significant post if I was actually addicted to something, like crack. Maybe I should take up crack- I'm sure I'd feel better about the whole phone situation.

Day 7: Masturbate to Given Fanatsy

.... yeahhhhh noooooo. I can not see how this is going to change my life. I also currently have certain... feminine issues that get in the way of this task(cause you totally needed to know that). ANYWHO, I do appreciate that the womans fanatasy is like a page long, and the main characters name is Emma- oddly fitting. Though I didn't find it sexy, considering Emma is pretty much raped by a stranger in a cabin in the middle of the woods. So many things wrong with that senario. It wasn't real rape, I mean she doesn't protest or anything, but he is definetley like "shhhh" and he slides one finger, blah blah blah. The mans fanatasy : "Two Women. Doing It. Together." Thats it. Ohh how different men and women are, tragically different.

Day 6: Write the Opening Statement of Your Debut Novel

I read a lot, and I write a lot. Only one person has read anything I've written creatively. He's not allowed to talk to me about it; no feedback, no comments, no criticism. I'm not ready to face the reality that my work may in fact blow hard like divine brown on hugh grant. I let him read it, that's enough for now. Today's task includes writing the opening statement of my debut novel. The great American novel written in Canada eh? Well, I ponder, what kind of novel should I write. Adventure? Science Fiction? Horror? Dectective? Its unimportant. I'm the kind of girl who starts with one sentence and goes from there, building each statement off the one before it. I don't really plan out my writing, maybe I should.

"There is nothing like snow to make a moment magical."

So, there you go. On shelves November 2020. I have a deep love of snow so I think it seems appropriate to pay homage to this wonderful act of weather. So many possibilites, so many roads to take. I'm going to go watch the snow fall now.

Day 5: Out of Order

So I totally suck at this every day post a blog thing. This is going to be very inconsistent and take more than a year, I'm telling you that right now. You can continue to read my witty banter or you can pass because I'm not totally on the ball. I have a life, get over it.
today I was to post an out of order sign to a public object and watch the impending mayhem. I posted my out of order sign to a recycling bin to symbolize mans inability to save this planet. Our connection with mother nature is "out of order" and this is something that needs to be addressed immediately, because when we hurt our earth, we hurt ourselves. No man from roto rooter or tech assistant guy with a backwards baseball cap can fix this for us, only we, the human race as a whole, can remedy this problem. Time is running out, if left unattended, this crisis will never get repaired.




seriously? I was lazy and needed somewhere to post the sign, I'm not very clever with stuff like that. As far as impending mayhem goes, I watched for a couple of minutes until one of my wonderful floormates, on the phone, accidently dropped my political statement on the ground when throwing away their assorted collection of starbucks cups, term papers, and water bottles. Hey, at least they were recycling right?

Day 4: World Color in Day

Today I was given a map and instructed to color code the countries according to where I want to go. There were four categories: been there done that (green), intend to go there this year (blue), intend to go there sometime before I die (yellow) and happy to never set foot there in my whole life (red). My map was covered in yellow and was completely void of blue. That blue-ish, green-ish color is suppossed to be green. (I didn't bring colored penciles or crayons to college, silly me. Thus, I had to use a pen, which leaked all over my hands and got on my face because I haven't quite outgrown that chewing on the end of the pen situation.) Seriously, I have no exciting travel plans for the next year. I'm going to be traveling back and forth between Toronto and California four times a year. Hopefully I'll go to Montreal or New York city inbetween my coast hopping, but other than that, I'm going no where. Which I find rather sad. I should go somewhere every year. Unfortunately, that is expensive and I am a starving college student. If I could, I would hop on a plane to Italy or Greece, or Dubai today, just grab the boyfriend or best friend and go. Book a red eye, go back to Dublin and actually see the city. I am already in the horrible predicament of wanting to be two places at all times. When I'm in California I want to be in Toronto, when in Toronto I want to be in California. I can never win. This is a recent development and makes me want to jump off a bridge a little bit. To add to this sad situation, I also wish I was various places around the world at all times. I have big travel plans for the future. I want to see the running of the bulls in Spain, I want to roll cheese in Gloucestershire, I want to buy cocaine in Colombia (not really, but I do want to go to Colombia) and see Machu Picu in Peru. On top of all the places I haven't been yet, I also want to return to the places that I have been. I yearn for the hills of Ireland or the pubs of England every day, no matter where I am. So, I plan, and plan and plan. One day, my plans will become reality and you'll see me standing besides the pyramids, a huge smile on my face.
The red category I found unsettling, there are places that I don't care about going to. I have no ripping desire to see China or Chad, I'm ambivalent. That may come off as racist or some other sign that I'm a horrible person who is shallow minded and doesn't want to expand her horizons. Mind you I am going to school in Canada from California to broaden my world view, so take that. Anyhow, there are countries that I know little to nothing about and thus have no intrest in going there. Algeria, which is primarly Sahara desert- don't want to go ther. I'm sure that its a lovely place and when the sun hits the sand dunes just right it can bring tears to to your eyes, but I think I can live without it. There really isn't anywhere that I never ever under any circumstances want to go. I'd even be down for seeing the south pole. I dunno, they should make orange equal "just don't give a fuck."Because really, I don't care whether I see Mongolia. I'd rather be in Ireland.

Day 3: Throw Away Something You Like

So I have to throw away something I like.... I don't know what I'm going to throw away. I like the redvines sitting next to me, but I don't think that I'm going to grow any by throwing away a pack of semi stale redvines. Everything that I have here in toronto is so important to me. Most of it ties me back to home. How could I get rid of the little things that tie me to the place I love above all others? I know this is suppossed to be good for you. I know it is, but I've never been good a throwing things away. I cling to objects and memories with jedi force strength. Maybe its especially good for me. Its not a materialism thing, its a memories thing. Objects tie me back to important times in my life. At home, I would throw away my corsage from junior prom, it'd be therapudic. I like it, and it is important to me but I think its time to let go of those memories and that time in my life. But while I am in toronto, I'm going to throw away those red vines and think about that time, and what happened and what it means to me. I'll pretend. I'm very good at that. Goodbye redvines, I wanted to eat you, but I'm just going to have to let you go.

So I suck at this new blog thing

Soooooo I've been stuck in travel hell for the past two days trying to get back to school. I didn't have time to blog, I didn't really have time to do much besides cry and yell and jump from plane to taxi to bus. So I'll be starting up with the life changing tomorrow. Sorry all who actually read this thing.

Day 2: The Love Of Your Life

So today, the second day of my epic journey to awesomeness, I was supossed to look at everyone I saw and ponder their potential as the love of my life and act accordingly. I spent most of today with my Aunt. She is not the love of my life. The homeless person, definitely not the love of my life. Guy who crossed the street past me with the fu manchu mustache, could have been the love of my life. Our children would be really really ugly though and I think that the woman holding his hand would have a problem with it. Really, who needs a soulmate? Like it's not necessary, I won't be stoned or shunned if I never pick a fella. I will be lonely and dissapointed. "Were all those Disney movies wrong?" I would ponder. Hopefully, I'll find the love of my life, maybe I already have, otherwise, I'll buy some cats. Overall, I'm just thinking that Orlando Bloom will just have to continue to be the love of my life. In time Orlando, in time...

Day 1: Warm- Up

Well, first off, happy new year to all. This is going to be an important year, a year in which I change my life. Now, yesturday I started this whole process, I just didn't blog it (does not bode well to the consistency of these posts). I do have an excuse, I was socializing and had a horrible cold. Two things that should not go together. I only turned on my computer (little "stella" here) to watch Dawson's Creek and wallow in the misery of my runny nose and acky throat. But I did Warm Up. I did more than warm up, I played football. Now I know that when you have such a cold, football is not a logical thing to do but its tradition. I only play football once a year. These were their suggestions for "Warm- Up"s: do one press-up (I'm incapable, sad I know, I'm sorry to mr. perry my 7th grade PE teacher), preform a strip tease (I have a cold- there is nothing sexy about a cold), triple tie your shoelaces (I wore velcoros yesturday), increase your typing speed to three words a minutes (I already do that- YAY!), jaywalk in a pedestrian zone (do that every day), set all your clocks to exactly the same time (done!), whisper a white lie when no ones listening, fatasize about your partner (he's 2000 miles away, that happens often), use a difference thickness comb (did that!), say yo instead of hello (luke I hope you're reading!!), and some other stuff that one does in every day life normally. I did not give my genetalia pet names though, I'm not too into that. So I warmed up! Yay! Happy new year to all and I hope that the dayquil sets in quick.